just not eachother.

"I Loved you first, when we were children.
You broke my heart, all that's forgiven.
We lost our chance to love one another.
Well love again ....... but just not each other."

you still hurt me.

"Everything's closer to the end

but I will get farther from you.

You're eyes are blue but I can't see that color hue

it's been so dang long, God I was wrong

I'm dead to you

you say we are friends but

what is a friend when you see her.

Everything's closer to the end but

I will get farther from you

I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong.

Everything's closer to the end but

I will get farther from you"

even now.

"How long should I wait before I let you go

How long should I decide

Know that i love you

even still even now

even though we fell apart

even still even now and I hope well meet again"

should i cut my loses now.

should i break free while i have the chance. errr, did i ever get a chance?

....no

im drawn to you.

"call the surgeon, mend the pieces."

to be blunt.

Recently I have been thinking about JH. Recently i have begun to wonder if i did the right thing. (which is just me over thinking things) Or if i walked away to soon. If i had wanted to fix it, if i had continued to pour love into our relationship -would that had been the key? When you love someone do you just give up? Do you just give up on them on your relationship? I don't always have the answers. But now i have to live with the pain.

Some days i get angry, frustrated. But every day i must picture how much Jesus has done for me and remember I am a recipient of His grace. And as i come to understand this, and perhaps mroe importantly, FEEL this, I will be more and more able to extend that kind of grace to others, including JH.

Offering him grace will take some doing, some time, something Holy. It will take all of these things, because he doesn't deserve it, and that is exactly the point.


I want to know why God put him in my life.