You are so faithful God.

Give me a reason to fall in love.
Give me a reason to make me smile.
Cause I think I forgot how.
I wanna know that I am safe when you hold me tight.
I wanna feel like I wanna feel forever.

I want you.

i am so blessed. i got the job at Macy's!

You are more beautiful
Than anyone ever
Everyday You're the same
You never change, no never

And how could I ever deny
The love of my Savior
You are to me everything
All I need forever

How could You be so good to me?

There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You

its a beautiful idea, really.

it's beginning to get to me.

AGAPE (ah-gap-aye)
meaning God's love for people.
as in John 3:16 For God so loved the world He gave His only son.

Agape is a particular kind of love. Love is often seen as a need, something we get from others. Agape is the opposite. Agape gives.

agape doesn't love somebody because they're worthy.
agape makes them worthy by the strength and power of its love.
agape doesn't love somebody because they're beautiful.
agape loves in such a way that it makes them beautiful.

There is a love because, love in order to, love for the purpose of, and then there is love, period. Agape doesn't need a reason.

Whats your passion?

Have one or not. Maybe it's as simple as asking God to show it to you, to give it to you, to make you aware of it.

The last thing you need to do is tone down your passion.

What is it you've given your life to?

"Life isn't about toning down & repressing your God-given life force. It's about channeling it & focusing it & turning it loose on something beautiful."

If i just had....

Lust promises what It can't deliver.

Lust comes from a deep lack of satisfaction with life. This is why we have to slow down and reflect on our lives before we'll ever begin to sort out of significance of this.

and it always revolves around the "if" doesn't it?

The idea creeps into our hear and heart that we are lacking, that we are incomplete, that this craving in front of us is the answer.

Lust is always built on a lie. And so for you and me to be free from lust, we have to begin by understanding the lie and where it comes from and why it can be so alluring.

lust is slavery. we are free.

"I have the right to do anything - but I will not be mastered by anything."

but because I can doesn't mean i should.

Because it all starts with being sexy on the inside.

"Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own bosy feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you."

give peace a chance.

If your still upset with the body or the life or the family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving sustainable sort of way...

And until you're as peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe.

"because she has been exploring her own soul for so long, she knows herself inside and out. she's at peace, and its contagious."

wer're disconnected from each other, and we know it.

the recovery movement.

you can be with many, and yet you're alone.
"you're only as sick as your secrets" This is true for relationships with friends. If there are secrets that haven't been shared, topics that can't be discussed, things from the past that are forbidden to be brought up. it can cripple a relationship.

When you can't be open with loved ones who can you be open with?

when we hurt each other.
when we gossip about one another.
when we fail to forgive each other.
when we don't do the work of making peace with each other.
we get severed from each other, cut off, divided.
s e p e r a t i o n

people hurt people.
"hurt people hurt people"

we can never heal until we can identify who did what when. Only then we can begin the process of being set free,

call it what is it. dysfunction.

everyone wants what they can't have and once they have it they desire more.

self image.

so i'm not a man hater. i love men as much as the next female. but i can't stand when a man looks at a girl like a possession.

"how would you rate that?" it's sick.

It seems harmless, until your that girl -- and then it hurts. Its degrading. Its violating. It does something to a person's soul.

When a "she" becomes a "that"

In the book of Matthew, it says, "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" He connects our hearts and our intentions and our thoughts with the state of our hearts. It then goes farther to say "if your right eye causes yo to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away."

Which is a bit violent. Not to mention painful. And if taken literally, renders half of the human race blind in a matter of moments. Not to mention that blind people are capable of lusting.... Some truth beyond the removing of body parts. If we're not suppoed to take it literally then how, or where, are we supposed to take it.

ranpid consumerism.

the title has nothing to do with this blog post.

so i'm re-reading one of my favorite books. sexGOD by Rob Bell.
now before you think im a sex addict. i'm not. its about exploring the endless connection between sexuality and spirituality. i dig it. check it out.

this is really about that.

and you can smell the conflict coming. you know that awkward tension when you walk into a room, where something is obviously awkward and your in the middle. isn't that the most terrible feeling?!

You know how people pray for God to be present? When he already is, because He is ALWAYS with us. Or the people who think that God will only show up at church. Boggles my mind.

Our God will be on the side of the road.
Our God doesn't need a church.
Our God doesn't just speak to us at "certain places"
Our God will speak to anybody, anywhere, anytime.

also, whats up with guys going through girfriends like gum? once one relationship is over he already has another. how is that? breaks my heart. did the previous relationship mean nothing? Shouldn't he be praying about a new relationship and doesn't he ned time to heal? more things that boggle my mind.... which raised the next question, why does he need to have a girl? What is the REAL need? And if we could get that, would he not need a girl so much?

"And he's got this thing he does, and he keeps telling her that all guys are like this, and she wants to trust him, but she's dying to know if all guys are really all like him, because its getting a little weird. "

because this is really about that.

make us glad on this planet of tears.

"All we can remember is that frown on your face.
Is that all we're ever going to get?
We live for seventy years or so
(with luck we might make it to eighty),
And what do we have to show for it? Trouble.
Toil and trouble and a marker in the graveyard. "
[psalm 90:9-10] message

death and pain are inseparable. it is a part of the cycle of life.

My heart is healing so much lately. I feel stronger and so much closer to God. It seems that for a really crummy situation for me has brought a really good situation for my God, and that is all that is REALLY important. Being surrounded in his love and comfort daily is a huge blessing. I love my Lord.

In other news...
One of my best friends has recently moved to a new city for school. In some ways it has brought us even closer than we already were. We still talk everyday but now we have the opportunity to connect on different levels. We are planning on reading the book Job together. I'm really excited about it. :)

fall

so september is here.
things i cannot wait for:

-cooler weather.
-scarves and jackets.
-cozy socks.
-hazelnut hot chocolate from sbucks!
-family holidays and traditions!
-a completely healed heart (i'm almost there God is showing it to me!)

D.