chin up

have you ever just woke up sad?

and it lingers and you just can't shake it.



so you go for a drive to take your mind off things.



the weather today is great. overcast, but not too cold. perfect wind.

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

changes are in the air

new. new. new.

good conversation

"how do you feel about journalism?"

"i think that is the best idea God has had all year!"

selfish prayers

after listening to pastor Mike's sermon the other day i felt so guilty.

in all my prayers everything is always about me.
-help me, give me strength, blah blah blah...

i know God wants to help me, but how am i helping Him?

my prayers will now be filled with asking the Lord how i can serve Him better, and how to fulfill His will.

dream

in my dream i had 100 quarters. but i had to give them to someone.
i decided to give them to an older man. who in return gave me a tiny box. he said his dreams were in them. but not to open it or i wouldn't fulfill my own dreams. i want to know what his dreams were. and maybe i should start going after my own.

odd dream.

loving every second of it

i am
giddy.
smiling.
joyful.

and scared out of my mind.

why am i thinking about this so much?
turning my brain off now.

better off

i am.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Should you return.

I'd like to tell myself, If you showed up tonight. I'd tell you to go to hell. And get on with my life. I'd just walk away. Without a fight. Without one tear falling from my eye. I'd like to think that's what I would do. Yeah I know that's what I should do. I know if I let you back in it's the same damn thing all over again you'll just hurt me, you'll just hurt me. Loving you baby will never make sense and I know that I'm crazy for letting you make me cry. I know if I let you back in It's the same damn thing all over again You'll just hurt me, you'll just hurt me. Oh you're gonna hurt me, you'll just hurt me.

a good start

sometimes people only make things worse, than before.

sometimes strangers make things better.

sometimes silence isn't bad at all.

weather forcast

today is going to be a good day!















positive. positive. positive.

dictionary.com

am·ne·sia [am-nee-zhuh]
/æmˈniʒə/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronun (noun) loss of a large block of interrelated memories; complete or partial loss of memory...

warning sign

don't rush me.
time won't stop.

remember that

just when i thought it was over.
it isn't.

"it doesn't matter how he hurts
you with his hands or with his words
you don't deserve it
it ain't worth it
take your heart and run"

new deep, belief

i really dig the thrift shops around town.
it was an adventure yesterday.

fall is probably my favorite season because there is a lot of change. In the weather, people, and the apperance of vtown. its time to bust out the comfy clothes, hats, scarves, mittens, and fuzzy socks. mmm, top it off with hazelnut hot chocolate. only the best.

there is a change going on in my heart, i can feel it.
i am in repair; im not together but im getting there.
i can just feel it.
the heart of life is good.

my mother is just a wonderful person.
she has a strong will and desire.
i hope i am half the woman and wife she is.

my hero's

my little brother who lives life care-free and loves Jesus. and will be happy to tell you how "cool" Jesus is because He invented hot wheels, video games and big sisters. he is the coolest 8 1/2 year old you will ever encounter.

aaaand

my mother who crys when she gets her hair cut (i wish i was kidding), snickers at george clooney and who gave birth to the ravishing creature named danielle aurora lee.

Jesus has blessed me with amazing family members who i am thankful for and am getting closer too.

:)

broken

i am broken.

silenced. but full of emotion.
strong emotions.

day by day...

time will come.

and then i will seek peace, after the storm.

"it's a deep hurt, within your soul"

im hurting.

i'm not going to lie.

but you know whats worse?

my God is heart broken every day when someone rejects him.

that hurts me even more.

edit//
every ending's a new beginning
one more chance to get it right
one more chance to get it wrong
sometime's nowhere leads to somewhere
and it all starts again
in the end .

question and no answer

how are you supposed to stop loving someone?

better question

why would i want to?

answer...?

the bigger plan

A relationship is about glorifying God. Together.

My relationship with my Lord comes before everything, therefore i seek a man who puts the Lord first in all he does.

If its not a relationship where you are glorifying God, i believe God will probably stop it.

His plans are bigger than ours. If those plans aren't being met he will do everything in his power to do so.

I'm a selfish person. I was letting my own selfish desires get in the way of God's overall plan. Because i thought that was what God wanted. Boy, was i wrong.

Defiantly letting God control every aspect of my life now.

(ps i typed this in the most inappropriate place)

clean getaway...

if only.

happy will be the day i say, "i finally made it. i made a clean getaway." but will i be happy? will it truely be bliss?

if only.

seeing happy couples. cheerful girls, smitten with there partners. seeing that boy gaze into her eyes, and look so full of joy. "it looked just like love. "

will the feelings ever go away? when will the pain end?
in time.

if only.
it was here now.
i will wait for you, time. but please come soon.

"and i miss you, i miss you every single day."